The Long Drive
by Matt Perrett
Summary: Mega Man defeats Dr. Wily, foiling his schemes for world domination. However, his greatest challenge lies ahead: enduring a lengthy drive to prison with only the mad scientist for company. Takes place at the end of MM1.


_0817 hours_

"It's over, Wily!" Mega Man shouted as he leapt into the air, blasting the mad scientist's war machine with everything he had. "You're finished!" A barrage of fire, ice, lightning, blades, and bombs assailed the titanic mech, but for all that it looked like an oversized robot head wearing a UFO as a hat, it had both firepower and durability in spades. He could see Dr. Wily through the windshield now, though an enlarging network of cracks was increasingly obscuring his view.

"Never!" Wily snarled, his voice blaring out of tinny loudspeakers. "You may have defeated my lesser creations, but this battle station is invincible! You're barely even scratching the surface!"

Ignoring his enemy's taunts, the Blue Bomber kept calm and continued firing. He noticed that Wily seemed far more worried when his shots came close to the strange red jewel on the front of the craft than anywhere else, so he began to focus his fire on the spot. It was a tiny target, and he could only just catch it at the apex of his jumps, but after destroying six Robot Masters and nearly endless waves of defense drones, he was a very good shot.

The gem only withstood a few hits before shattering, causing a chain reaction that resulted in the entire ship going haywire. Countless small detonations snowballed into massive explosions that rocked the metal monstrosity. White with panic, Dr. Wily ejected himself from the doomed craft, escaping mere seconds before the blasts tore it in half and sent it hurtling to the floor below. The would-be world conqueror landed at Mega Man's feet moments later. "I surrender!" he cried, kowtowing fearfully. "I surrender!"

Though weary and wounded, Rock smiled broadly. The journey to this point had been long and difficult, but he had made Dr. Light proud: Wily was defeated, and the world was safe once more.

* * *

_0832 hours_

"We're in your debt, Mega Man," a tall police officer said gratefully as he and his partner escorted the captive Dr. Wily out of the robot factory to a nearby prisoner transport van. "We couldn't have apprehended him without you."

"I was just doing my duty," the blue robot replied modestly, not taking his eyes off Wily for a second. "I'll be glad once he's in jail. He won't be able to hurt anyone there!"

The two officers exchanged a quick glance. "About that," the shorter one spoke up, "could you do us a big favor? We'd feel a lot better if you came along and, y'know, kept an eye on him on the way there."

The taller man nodded emphatically. "We don't expect any trouble, of course, but..."

"Certainly, officers," Rock answered, beaming. "It's no bother at all!" _Besides_, he thought, _how bad could the trip be?_

* * *

_0905 hours_

Mega Man and Dr. Wily sat on opposite sides of the van, glaring balefully at each other in the oppressive silence. Whereas the elderly scientist slouched on the metal bench with his arms crossed, his bushy grey mustache twitching angrily, the azure android remained rigidly straight-backed in his seat. He mentally kept track of the number of staring contests he won; not needing to blink, the figure soon became quite high.

* * *

_1019 hours_

Wily had given up on shooting hate-filled stares at his nemesis a half hour ago, and was now pretending that his fellow passenger didn't exist. Rock somewhat regretfully reset the staring contest integer, as it seemed unlikely that he would need it again. Looking around for something to hold his attention, he examined the compartment more carefully. It was flat and grey, with no distinguishing or interesting features. There were no windows either, giving him no way to know how much time had passed aside from his internal clock, and it was just him and Wily.

He knocked on the wall of the cab, and the shorter officer slid back the panel of the viewing window. "Say," the robot inquired, "how much farther is it to the facility, anyway?"

"Oh, we've still got a long ways to go," the guard replied, looking less than pleased about the fact. "It'll probably be another six hours or so."

"Uh, thanks," Mega Man mumbled as the panel snapped shut again. He resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. _Why, Dr. Light?_ he thought with some distress. _Why did you program me to feel boredom?_

* * *

_1108 hours_

Mega Man couldn't take it anymore. Never in his short existence had he experienced such dreadful ennui. There had always been something to do, something to read, and recently, something to fight. In the midst of this abject misery, he wondered just how many humans had gone mad from a similarly complete lack of stimulation. He could only guess that there had been a lot, because otherwise, he couldn't imagine how they handled it. He was equipped for hyperactive learning and reflexes, not creativity! He'd already reviewed every conversation he'd ever had with Dr. Light and Roll, as well as done a frame-by-frame analysis of all the battles with Wily's Robot Masters. He couldn't go into sleep mode, not when he was supposed to be watching the elderly doctor. There was nothing he could do, except—

_Well,_ he supposed, _I __**could**__ talk to Wily._ It was a thoroughly distasteful notion, but it was either that or go stark raving mad.

"Er..." He closed his mouth as quickly as he had opened it, though the old man didn't seem to have noticed. It suddenly occurred to the Blue Bomber that he had no idea what to say. What did one talk about with someone who had tried to conquer the world? He rapidly searched his memory banks for a safe conversational topic. "Say, um, nice weather we're having today, huh?"

Dr. Wily slowly lifted his eyes from examining his shoelaces and gave Mega Man an incredulous look. He refrained from replying for an uncomfortably long time, apparently trying to decide if he, too, was bored enough to make talking with his hated foe worthwhile. Finally, he sighed and slouched further into his seat. "Oh yes, lovely day," he muttered with bitter sarcasm. "A perfect shade of blue, not a cloud in the sky...just the right sort of day for spending eight hours locked in a tin can with morons, followed by a life sentence in a maximum security prison."

The fighting machine crossed his arms with a sniff. "Well, maybe you shouldn't have tried to take over the world, then."

Contrary to Rock's expectations, the mad scientist did not burst into a furious rant, but rather gave a noncommittal grunt. "There's no point arguing about it with someone like you. Your worldview is entirely black and white. I doubt you can even process shades of grey."

"Shades of grey?!" Mega Man exclaimed. "You were attempting a violent overthrow of the global government!"

"It wasn't all for my own benefit!" Wily scoffed, then paused for a moment. "Well, it was mostly for my benefit. Still, I did have a plan for after I succeeded!"

"Oh really?" the robot retorted. "I thought you were just a robotics genius! If you're so smart, why don't you tell me how you'd improve the economy?!"

The elderly doctor snorted disdainfully. "Ha, simplicity itself! First I'd—"

* * *

_1156 hours_

Mega Man struggled to wrap his head around the seemingly endless stream of technical financial jargon and acronyms thrown at him by Dr. Wily, who had been animatedly lecturing him for almost an hour without an end in sight. He was reeling so much from trying to keep it all straight that he was immensely grateful when the man finally wrapped up his impromptu speech.

"—so you see, all it would really take is a firm hand to turn the world economy around."

"Wonderful," the blue warrior replied wearily, "but how would you do it without being a dictator, benevolent or otherwise?"

Wily rolled his eyes. "Hmph, if I must. I suppose the most important thing would be to—"

Rock groaned and planted his face in his palms, narrowly missing a satisfied grin from his loquacious prisoner.

* * *

_1243 hours_

"—ensuring tighter controls over derivative and futures trading—"

"Okay, I believe you!" the azure android interrupted irritably. "But if you know so much about this stuff, why didn't you just run for office?"

"Haven't you been listening to a word I've said?" Dr. Wily shot back. "Do you know how aggravating it would be to have to deal with all those idiotic politicians, greedy lobbyists, and imbecilic voters who, I might add, are constantly voting against their own interests?" He leaned back into his seat, looking rather disgruntled. "It would be simpler to conquer the world and establish a dictatorship."

"Which you tried, and failed at," Mega Man dryly pointed out.

The mad scientist scowled at his opponent. "Yes, well, I didn't expect to have my plans foiled by Light's janitor."

"I was his lab assistant, not his janitor," the robot stated firmly. "My sister, Roll, does the housekeeping."

"Oh, pardon me, Rockman," Wily taunted, sitting up straighter on the bench. "I didn't mean to insult your lofty position at Light Labs by insinuating that you performed such menial tasks as housework! Seems you agree with your creator that that's the province of women." He sneered at Mega Man's outraged expression. "Funny, isn't it, that the only woman in his life was made to spend all her time in the kitchen? He always was old-fashioned that way. Why, I'll bet she was even programmed to enjoy it!"

"I'll thank you to not cast tasteless aspersions on my father," Rock spat out coldly.

"Your father, is he?" the roboticist smirked as he raised an eyebrow. "How nice! I'm sure you make one big, happy family together: one eccentric old coot and two calculators desperately wishing they were human!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" the Blue Bomber demanded.

Ignoring him, Dr. Wily clasped his hands together and adopted a mocking, high-pitched tone of voice. "'Maybe if I defeat enough bad men, the Blue Fairy will make me into a three-dimensional character!'"

It took the robot a moment to make sense of the barb. "Hey!" he said at last.

The mad doctor gestured dismissively. "Please, you're practically a cardboard cutout. As far as I can tell, you only have three modes: 'boy wonder', 'for great justice' and 'righteous indignation.'"

"I do not!"

"Righteous indignation."

"For your information, I do more than just help around the lab! I help the elderly across the street, I entertain sick kids, I volunteer at the local library—"

"Boy wonder."

"—all of which I would rather be doing, but for the sake of peace in this world I agreed to be a warrior—"

"For great justice."

"—and I don't have to take snide remarks from a madman with delusions of grandeur!"

"And now we're back to righteous indignation."

The pair glowered at each other for several long seconds before Dr. Wily spoke up again. "Tell me, does his laptop dream of being a world-class pianist someday?"

Mega Man jerked his head to the side in a huff, refusing to look at the grey-haired old man. "I'm not talking to you anymore."

"Suits me fine," Wily answered drolly. He banged on the wall of the cab, making as much noise as possible. "Hey, when are we stopping?! I'm hungry, and I need to use the facilities!"

* * *

_1320 hours_

After a brief pit stop, during which Rock watched the aged convict like a hawk, the van resumed its journey to the prison that would be Wily's home for the foreseeable future. The two passengers continued to pointedly ignore each other. The fighting machine was staring at the ceiling, wracking his mind for ways to keep himself entertained for the next three hours or so. Dr. Wily was eyeing an unpleasant-looking convenience store sandwich the police officers had dumped in his lap, clearly trying to determine if going hungry would be preferable. With a wounded sigh, he set into his meal with great reluctance, then screwed up his face as if it tasted even worse than he had expected.

"I like dogs," Mega Man said out of the blue.

"I thought you weren't talking to me anymore," the mad scientist muttered through a mouthful of food.

The robot went on, pretending not to have heard anything. "They're just so cute and playful, y'know? All they really want is love and affection. If you treat them right, they'll be your best friend forever and love you unconditionally."

"You've never been bitten by one," Wily grumbled in a grouchy tone.

"I couldn't pick a favorite breed – I like all kinds of dogs – but I guess I'd say I like big dogs better." Rock sighed, his voice full of longing. "I'd like to have a dog someday. I think that'd be great."

"But you won't, because...?" the greybeard asked, sounding completely uninterested.

"Dr. Light's really, really allergic to them." Mega Man sighed again, while Wily mentally filed that piece of information away for future use. "How about you?" the android enquired, doing his best to sound only vaguely curious. "Do you like dogs?"

"Oh yes, they're quite useful," Dr. Wily responded. "Whenever I have a bad day, I always feel better after kicking a few puppies. I always kept some around the factory for just that purpose."

The Blue Bomber's head snapped down, his mouth gaping open in shock.

"Speaking of which, did you know that puppy fat can be made into a surprisingly effective lubricant for robot parts?" the doctor continued blithely. "Most people don't know that."

Rock made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

Wily glanced down at his half-eaten sandwich mournfully. "And it's been too long since I had a good puppy steak. It's like veal, only gamier."

Mega Man looked about ready to explode before a realization swept over him. "Wait a minute," he said slowly, "you're just messing with me, aren't you?"

The elderly scientist chuckled, breaking his deadpan demeanor. "I thought you'd never get wise! No, Mega Man, I don't dislike dogs, or any animals really. It's people I can't stand." He examined his food one last time, then gave up and discarded it. "Though I do have a preference for cats over dogs. I like that they're more independent and self-sufficient. Dogs are too much work for a busy man such as myself – you'll never catch me standing in the rain waiting for a dog to do its business!"

The robot laughed at the mental image. "Did you have any pets at the factory?"

Dr. Wily shook his head. "I didn't have time for such indulgences. Besides, it wasn't exactly safe; I set too many death traps."

"Oh. Right."

* * *

_1531 hours_

"—you're obviously not taking into account how fast Superman is," argued Mega Man heatedly. "You're out of your gourd if you think Batman stands a chance against that!"

"Ah, but you're making the classic error of overestimating personal power and underestimating intelligence!" Wily retorted. "Batman knows all of Superman's strengths and weaknesses, and would thus be fully prepared for such an eventuality—"

* * *

_1604 hours_

"—though nothing says 'nostalgic' for me like Gunsmoke," Dr. Wily reminisced happily. "Still, I must confess that my true passion lies with the Golden Girls. Betty White is quite a character, isn't she?"

"Yeah!" Rock enthused. "She's my favorite, too!"

Suddenly, it occurred to both of them that they had actually agreed on something, and the realization shocked them into silence.

A few minutes later, the van gradually came to a halt, announcing that they had arrived at their destination. The police officers opened the back doors and, after checking that the mad scientist's restraints were properly secured, escorted him outside. "Thanks again for riding along with us, Mega Man," the tall policeman said. "We can take it from here."

The Blue Bomber and Dr. Wily looked at each other once more. There was still plenty of distrust and general animosity between them, though there was less of the abject hatred that had dominated their thoughts before their shared experience. Nevertheless, they were both clearly very relieved that the ordeal was over.

"Well, um," the azure android began, fumbling for the right words, "I'll be out here, so you be good in there." He cracked a smile. "You know, with good behavior, you could be out in about fifty years or so."

"Hm, not much chance of that, I'm afraid," Wily mused, his expression thoughtful. "Goodbye, Mega Man. Give my regards to Thomas."

With that, he turned his back on his nemesis and entered the facility, the officers and guards observing his every movement. Grateful that his great task was finally finished, Rock teleported back to Dr. Light's lab for a well-deserved rest.

* * *

_Some time later..._

"Rock, I'm afraid I have bad news," Dr. Light reported to his faithful servant, who was soaking up the rays of a beautiful sunny day. He stroked his bushy white beard nervously as he spoke. "Dr. Wily has broken out of prison, and there are reports that he's created eight new Robot Masters to assist him with a second bid for world domination. I regret that I have to ask you this, but will you fight and bring him to justice once again?"

"Of course, Doctor," Mega Man replied, though he felt his heart sinking as he said it. It wasn't the thought of future battles that worried him so much – he didn't enjoy fighting, but he was confident that he would succeed. No, it was the idea of having to take another unbearably long drive with Wily that he dreaded.


End file.
